


So Sorry

by KairiasYami2



Series: hope (comes slow) [24]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Sad, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KairiasYami2/pseuds/KairiasYami2
Summary: He wishes he had been smarter, been wiser and kinder and more aware of the consequences of his actions.(Day 45 of '500 word challenge' I'm doing with myself, but like 7 months later than all the rest and on the same day as the previous one because my inspiration is sporadic.)
Series: hope (comes slow) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671700
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	So Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I make roman the saddest. what's up with all this roman angst guys?? he doesn't deserve this. blame Thomas though, he's the one who made Roman's self-hatred canon so like. its not my fault.

Roman has a lot of regrets, in his life. That might sound melodramatic, and at first glance at his life, you’d think he was just kidding and exaggerating. He’s one of the people you see on TV, living a perfect life with a perfect family and a perfect partner. And sure, some of his regrets are small, like regretting not auditioning for this-or-that role or regretting taking this college class over that one. But that’s not all of them.

Take a closer look at Roman, and you’d see his truth. 

Roman hates himself - hates his inability to deal with his emotions maturely, hates his inability to truly act like himself without his thoughts calling himself weak and useless. Hates how vulnerable he is to the judgement of others.

He hasn’t spoken to his brother in years - and while it had taken him a while and a lot of introspection, he realizes it’s his fault that he’s so estranged from his twin. He has memories that, with the perspective of hindsight, clearly show Remus fighting for the love and attention that Roman had unknowingly hogged. Roman was a horrible brother when he was younger, and he’s too afraid to try and fix things at this point. 

Especially after everything with Logan.

And oh, Logan. Of all the things he regrets, of everything he’s done wrong in his life ( _ and he has to stop himself from listing them all, because if he lets his self-hatred out he won’t be able to stop the depressing thoughts _ ), the mistakes he’s made with Logan are the ones he regrets the most. He truly did love Logan - he still does, even though he knows he has no right to anymore. God, he adored ( _ adores _ ) Logan, from his smiles and nerdy rambles to his stern frown and his stern teacher moments. Logan is so, so good, and Roman had taken advantage of his luck with being with Logan. He hadn’t truly realized the treasure he had had until he screwed everything up and lost it. 

He doesn’t regret his love for Patton - that is perhaps one thing he can say confidently. But he regrets how their relationship happened, hidden like a dirty secret because they both knew they’d be hurting people if they were honest. He regrets how the relationship began, and he regrets how the relationship was brought to light. 

He wishes he had been smarter, been wiser and kinder and more aware of the consequences of his actions.

He’s bad at that, he’s realized. He does things, and he doesn’t quite realize that those things might have consequences until those consequences have already come to pass and he’s faced with the fact that he’s made a mistake.

So yes, Roman Regio has quite a few regrets in his life, and there are days where he wishes that time travel were real and he could fix everything, make everyone he cares about (everyone he’s screwed over with his careless actions) happy and okay.

But that’s the plot of movies, and as much as he acts and pretends to be a Disney prince he knows that this is real life and things like that don’t happen.

So instead, he will have to do this the old fashioned way: painfully, with the help of Patton, doing his best to reconnect with those he has spurned and make it up to everyone he’s hurt.

It will take a while, and his pride and ego will be severely damaged at the end of things, but it’s the right thing to do.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t screw  _ this _ up too.

**Author's Note:**

> me: im sad, I want to write something to make myself feel better  
> this fic: is sad  
> me: :O


End file.
